Before walking down the aisle, we might have had good times with our former flame. But that’s not enough to make us good friends. In fact, many of us don’t even like our exes, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be good friends with them.
I think we’ve all gotten stuck in a cycle of keeping tabs on our exes. It’s not healthy (for you or them), but it’s also something that seems to happen with the best intentions.
Can you be friends with your ex? I don’t know about you, but I can’t stop thinking about them. I’m trying so hard to move on and forget them, but they’re just too good at making my heart skip a beat. In other words, they are the definition of complicated.
But that’s okay because there is nothing wrong with feeling complicated (and weird).
Can You Be Friends With Your Ex
Below I’ve listed five simple techniques to help you be the kind of friend your ex deserves, even if they are still reeling in the aftermath of your breakup:
Avoid making comparisons
It’s easy to make comparisons when you first start seeing someone new. You might wonder how it compares to your last relationship or, even worse — your ex.
You may find yourself comparing their life with yours, even though they have moved on from their last relationship too. But doing this will only cause unnecessary stress and anxiety in both of you if it goes on for too long. Instead, focus on what makes each person unique and special in their own way.
Being open and honest will help you build trust between the two of you while building up a sense of loyalty between you guys as well. And trust is essential in any friendship because it allows both parties to feel comfortable sharing their thoughts, feelings and opinions when necessary without feeling judged by the other party, who might not share their views or opinions on certain subjects (which might lead to arguments).
Stay in Touch
It’s hard to be the best friend to someone when you’re not even speaking to them anymore. But if that’s the case, at least keep up with your contact information, so they know where to reach you.
It’s one thing to stay in touch with an ex and be friendly with them. If you’re truly friendly now, then there should be no problem with this transition period (although I’m sure it will still be awkward).
To keep a friendship alive, you have to keep trying. Even if they don’t seem interested in trying anymore, don’t give up on them! You never know when things might change or what it will take for them to think about meeting again or even start talking again.
If you’re going through something too hard, be there for them in any way possible. Whether it’s just talking about their problems or helping them out with something causing tension between you, being there is crucial for keeping a friendship alive and strong!
Don’t make assumptions
Can you be friends with your ex and still want to date them? Don’t assume that because you broke up with her, they have moved on completely. If they still have feelings for you, they may feel guilty about having feelings for someone else.
They may also feel guilty about being attracted to someone else. And if they do have feelings for another person, they might not want to share those feelings with you. So don’t make assumptions about their feelings or thoughts — just ask them.
Don’t force yourself into new relationships right away
If things didn’t work out between you two when you were together, chances are that they won’t work out any better when things are different now — unless one of you has changed significantly in personality or outlook since then (in which case maybe dating them again wouldn’t be such a bad idea).
Can you be friends with your ex? You can’t expect to be friends right away, but it’s possible, with time and patience, that you can eventually become friends again.
Here are some things to ponder:
- Don’t try to get back together with them
- Try to get along with your ex, but don’t make it a priority
- Remember that you have more friends than you did before
- Having an ex for a friend can be good for both of you
Don’t try to force a connection between you two; just let things happen naturally over time. Being in a relationship is hard enough; don’t make it even harder by forcing yourself into an uncomfortable position that won’t work out in the end anyway!
You don’t know how can you be friends with your ex
This is the situation I was in three years ago. I was single and ready to find someone new, but my ex still wanted me back. I was confused because I didn’t know what he wanted or what it would take for us to rebuild our friendship after the breakup.
I finally realized that despite our differences, we had a lot in common — we were both introverts and loved spending time by ourselves or talking on the phone — so I decided to give it another shot and see where it went. And it worked! We started hanging out again and eventually became close friends after a few months of not speaking much.
Instead, spend time with them and treat them like an old friend would. You might find that this makes it easier for them to be nice because they’re not used to being treated like this by everyone around them anymore.
If your ex is insecure about their appearance or weight (which is often the case) or something else about themselves, don’t make fun of it or compare yourself with whoever it is that’s making them insecure! That’s just going to make things worse for everyone involved in the situation. Instead, let them talk about whatever bothers them without making fun of them or bringing up other things they may have done wrong while dating each other.
Can you be friends with your ex ? No one said it is easy, but it’s worth exploring as an option if you still care about each other and both want to remain friends, at least for now.
It might seem strange, but by being friendly and welcoming toward your ex, you’ll find that they’re more likely to reach out to you when they need something or want somebody’s advice.